Readying to bury your father and your mother,

What did you think when you lost another?

I used to wonder why did you bother.

Distanced from one, blind to the other?

Listen here my sister and my brother

What would you care if you lost the other?

I always wonder why did we bother.

Distanced from one, deaf to the other.

Oh, but sweetness follows.

It's these little things, they can pull you under.

Live your life filled with joy and wonder.

I always knew this altogether thunder

Was lost in our little lives.

Live your life filled with joy and thunder.

Yeah, yeah we were altogether

Lost in our little lives.

Oh, but sweetness follows.

I had to get a proposal approved by a departmental head today.  She was very annoyed with my mere presence.  I stood by the door waiting for an answer.  She just made a face and mumbled something rude, which I let by.  She kept asking me questions, and I didn't answer her right away because I kept staring at this very mean, rigid person.  She copped even more attitude with me because of my spaces of silence.  After some smart ass comment, I left her office only to run into one of her cronies to whom I was (regretfully) nice and patient with because of her limited english.  Needless to say, I had to revise my survey, although the proposal's alright (I assume).  Although I could have done ALL of this without asking this woman for permission, I still can't understand why she would have such a negative attitude towards someone who's never gone through this exact process.  Not only that, I followed the instructions in the student manual to the T, yet she had the gall to tell me that it's all "obviously laid out for us".  I knew that.  That's why I followed it.  Books do not substitute for horrible instruction, ma'am.

Why did she agree to be the approval instructor if she has too much on her agenda as she so eloquently put it?  And her assistants are no better.  They show the same ruthlessness, but in a very awkward manner.  You can tell that it's not exactly integrated into their usual temperament.

As far as I've noticed, many people are very cold, very deliberate and otherwise very mean when they're in the upper levels of academia.  The lack of humor is startling.  I'm really starting to think I'm a little too sensitive for this crap.

Yesterday I'm making some caldo de res and doing my homework.  Seeing as how I have a pile of dishes I opt for the lazy path and place them all in the dishwasher.  As I'm tasting the broth and being oh-so-careful not to burn my tongue, a sudden gush of water spews forth from the kitchen sink, followed by an odd-shaped plug of FAT floating up to the surface.  I can only watch in horror as the air cap begins to gush and there is fat and oil bubbling up, almost overflowing.  I stick my hand down the drain, only to end up with a thick covering of animal fat up to my elbow.  The shower does nothing to remove this.  I can only wait until the water slowly drains away.

In the morning, there is only a foul-smelling, sticky residue that encompasses everything.  I can only spit out a couple of curse words and get to work.

Solution:  Boiling water, Draino and if all else fails, Mr. Roto-Rooter.

Moral of the story:  Apparently the former occupant did not learn that you do NOT pour fat down a sink.  Once again, do NOT pour fat (or anything that congeals in cold weather, for that matter) down the sink.

Mooks.

• I wish I was born a male.  The fact that no matter what I achieve in my life, I will always be judged by my physical appearance.  Once my looks begin to wither away, my social worth will also drop.  I will never receive the same accolades and equality from male colleagues.  I am essentially a second-class citizen.

• I should have fought back when I could when I was younger.  I should have said no and made my own decisions.  Fuck peer pressure.  However I don't feel so bad about it now because I realize I was too naive to do the right thing.

• I miss the nights when full abandon took over and we would wander the streets and yards drunk with freedom and happiness.  We strolled the streets as though we owned them.  Comraderie would keep us together.  We were all so beautiful. 

• Moonlit nights, jumping into pools, driving through the mountains, laughing, smoking.  And the dancing!  Oh, how I miss the dancing!  It was our ecstacy, it was ours.  I know they've forgotten; I haven't.